Characters Ohne Usefulness

Characters I have no use for at the present moment - I love them, but have no stories coming up or art that could possibly use them.
Graft, Yvette, Donal, Mackie, Rozlyn, Taufel, Slan, Mars, Mersalq, Hip Rat, Shrimpy Tim, Lucy V., Albin, Cardinal Headless, the Gull Brothers, Dietrich, Stroker, and Celine the Vicious (c) Liimlsan 2010-2013

TOP GROUP:
Graft is an Irish Setter whose nervous system has its own cancer. After she gained super-intelligence, she harvests the tumors and uses them to control the limbs she sews onto people at her locally famous clinic. Slightly murderously psychotic. Sings George Michael in the halls.

Yvette is Graft’s no. 1 assistant; a shy French pug with a human arm for a tail and octopus tentacles sewn onto her face. She’s cool.

Donal is Graft’s former assistant, an objectivist; after his rape of a client Graft took justice into her own hands, and resliced him into a blind wreck of a beast with crab sides for limbs and a row of artificially erect penises down the front. She whores him out on the side for both money and as an example for her future underlings. [For Deviantart, I rendered the penises as flaccid.]

Rozlyn is Graft’s terminally bored, chain-smoking Borzoi of a secretary/custodian. She’s also terminally bored.

Mackie is her new collie intern; horrified at what he sees, he suffers nightmares from the surgeries he aids in but refuses to tell the rest of the staff.

Taufel is a macrocephalic dog with horns covering his body. He likes appearing in front of old ladies and going all “I’mna eat your soul” and such. He can celtic dance like a motherfucker.

Slan is a multicolored quetzal griffin dragon thing, formerly a Babylonian temple prostitute, now tasked with controlling the weather. (I’ve had her since 2009, really…oy.) Her BF, Mars, is somewhat deranged, but she has a worrisome feeling that she owes him for showing her how to operate as a dragon thing.

Mersalq is half naiad and half vaporeon. She adores punk rock and cigarettes, but detests the fact that neither of those things work underwater. She finds a way ~

Hip Rat is a Charlie Chaplin figure, an anthropomorphic hippie grunge drifter rat who crashes in people’s basements. He’s damned near magical and can alter the physical process of objects he interacts with (cracking a watermelon like an egg, that sort of thing). Key? He can only change other things, never his own fortune. Itinerant, but he still keeps on smiling. You have to admire him for that.

Shrimpy Tim is a Norwegian Shrimp with a laser for a left eye. He likes to shoot things, he finds it good fun.

Albin is a translucent albino beagle, addicted to cocaine, who likes Mark Rothko.

Lucy V. is a psychotically pyromaniac lynx, hiding from the law. She’s never without her pilot goggles or a cigarette too many. She’ll quit next week, she swears.

Cardinal Headless is a telepathic cardinal head in a floating tank. He misses being able to fold origami, so he mind-controls people into folding his designs.

The Gull Brothers are basically a Boston and Chicago accented version of Heckle and Jeckle, with the added notes that they’re both obsessed with fish and, cartoonily, actually competing with each other to cause the most cartoony mayhem. Obsessed with outdoing the other. It’s a dynamic I’ve never seen in cartoon characters, but it’s too perfect not to be used.

Diedrich is a parrot who read philosophy books. When no one took his attempts at philosophy debate seriously (they assumed he was parroting the information), he went slightly nuts.
Stroker is a pissed off 70s trucker canary (think “Convoy,” “Smokey and the Bandit,” “Every Which Way but Loose,” etc.) who while searching for a mythical town made of birdseed, takes on Diedrich as an aide to talk to the villagers. Hilarity ensues.

Celine the Vicious is a serial killer. She’s also an adorable baby penguin. One can only hear “You can’t be angry, you look so cute!” so often before one snaps. If she hears one more person fail to take her seriously, (slash) goes the jugular. And you’ve been killed by a baby fucking penguin.