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Literature Text
Am I alone and unobserved? Ho hum….
Let me confess – I hate post-hipsterdom!
This air ironic is but moronic tonic!
This vintage dress – a hundred dollar mess!
This fixed gear bike is not a bike I like!
Let me confess!
I do not need thick glasses to see near or far!
I can’t ignore the coppery taste of PBR!
Thrift stores and fixed-gear bikes
quite simply gall me!
Tight jeans and keffiyahs
do not enthrall me!
I am not fond of verbalizing attacks
In praise of Apple Macs!
In short, my hipster style’s a false exterior
Born of a nagging need to be superior!
If you’re anxious to be seen a superior human being, as a hipster, if you care,
You must wear tight jeans and travel with your trust fund to Seattle and a lot of flannel wear!
[Your Fixie doesn’t matter if that creaking om’nous clatter for to fix costs lots of cash,
/Your food it will not matter if that small organic platter for to buy costs lots of cash,]
If your stuff is from the eighties they will all say, “Why, how great he is to use such dated trash!
And everyone will say,
as you walk from the S.A.,
“If that has so much heart for him which is far too old for me,
then what a most appealing and a lovely life postmodern man must lead.”
Besides instragramming foodstuffs and your eating many good stuffs you’ll partake, enjoy or think
Of your lattes, macchiatis, and a rather awful lot of these that no one seems to drink.
As you lounge in your recliner and you listen to your vinyl of a band that no one sees,
You’ll indulge in many coffees (the organic and the frothy) and your aromatic teas!
And everyone will say,
As these indie bands you play,
“If he can enjoy and rate the tastes that are too obscure for me,
Why, what a most discerning sort of hipster youth to still have such ennui!”
Arbitrariness will mire ye, and existential irony pervade your every cell,
You are freed from all conviction and analogies and fiction will make up the tales you tell,
Though the causes you’re attached to and the people that you’re matched to will insist that yes, you care,
All the things that you’ll be buyin’ have a ruddy lot of cyan and an apathetic air!
And everyone will say
As you stumble through your day,
“If these beliefs can’t mean to him the things they mean to me,
What an admirably cynical, detatched young man this hipster man must be!
Let me confess – I hate post-hipsterdom!
This air ironic is but moronic tonic!
This vintage dress – a hundred dollar mess!
This fixed gear bike is not a bike I like!
Let me confess!
I do not need thick glasses to see near or far!
I can’t ignore the coppery taste of PBR!
Thrift stores and fixed-gear bikes
quite simply gall me!
Tight jeans and keffiyahs
do not enthrall me!
I am not fond of verbalizing attacks
In praise of Apple Macs!
In short, my hipster style’s a false exterior
Born of a nagging need to be superior!
If you’re anxious to be seen a superior human being, as a hipster, if you care,
You must wear tight jeans and travel with your trust fund to Seattle and a lot of flannel wear!
[Your Fixie doesn’t matter if that creaking om’nous clatter for to fix costs lots of cash,
/Your food it will not matter if that small organic platter for to buy costs lots of cash,]
If your stuff is from the eighties they will all say, “Why, how great he is to use such dated trash!
And everyone will say,
as you walk from the S.A.,
“If that has so much heart for him which is far too old for me,
then what a most appealing and a lovely life postmodern man must lead.”
Besides instragramming foodstuffs and your eating many good stuffs you’ll partake, enjoy or think
Of your lattes, macchiatis, and a rather awful lot of these that no one seems to drink.
As you lounge in your recliner and you listen to your vinyl of a band that no one sees,
You’ll indulge in many coffees (the organic and the frothy) and your aromatic teas!
And everyone will say,
As these indie bands you play,
“If he can enjoy and rate the tastes that are too obscure for me,
Why, what a most discerning sort of hipster youth to still have such ennui!”
Arbitrariness will mire ye, and existential irony pervade your every cell,
You are freed from all conviction and analogies and fiction will make up the tales you tell,
Though the causes you’re attached to and the people that you’re matched to will insist that yes, you care,
All the things that you’ll be buyin’ have a ruddy lot of cyan and an apathetic air!
And everyone will say
As you stumble through your day,
“If these beliefs can’t mean to him the things they mean to me,
What an admirably cynical, detatched young man this hipster man must be!
Suggested Collections
A hipster-themed parody of "If You're Anxious for to shine" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Patience."
It's a common theme...
It's a common theme...
© 2014 - 2024 LiimLsan
Comments6
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Haha! fantastic.. Although, i still don't really understand what the 'hipster' movement is beyond the coolness of horn rimmed glasses. This is a fantastic song and while many other G&S songs are constantly parodied this is one I haven't seen before.
At one point I actually started re-writing Patience for the hippy movement. The whole flowers, bright colors and self denial type ideas kind of parallel Aestheticism.
At one point I actually started re-writing Patience for the hippy movement. The whole flowers, bright colors and self denial type ideas kind of parallel Aestheticism.